“Failure is not an option. Failing is a crime. Don’t even attempt that you’ll fail, try this instead, Mr. Sharma’s son done good in this subject, so will you.”
Ego. All of it is, nothing but ego. Ego.
One needs to let it go. Initially it was hard to let it go, coz it’s inculcated within us, we get it as a family legacy. For example it’s hard to sit at a restaurant by yourself. One is constantly worrying, thinking that people probably think you’re a loser because you’re sitting by yourself. But the reality is, one will never be happy if one cares about what people think of you!
I’ve learnt to let it go, (Like Pi says in the book ‘Life of Pi’ “All my life I’ve learnt that it’s all about letting go”). Now, nothing really bothers me.
Not being able to forgive people who hurt you… ego.
Not being able to let go of anger… ego.
Why must my neighbor be more happy than me… ego.
I won’t go do something out of the way coz I am happy in my comfort zone…. ego.
When you let go of your ego needs, it’s easier to accept and even benefit from whatever comes at you.
Everything in the ego’s world is the result of comparing. I compared myself to others and would blame myself because I wasn’t making as much money as them.
When I learnt to let go, I began to build separation from this egoistical mind, which is consistently making these comparisons. A lot of us try something and get rejected, so we give up. Even worse, we blame ourselves for a long time and get depressed.
And this is what leads to bad habit of not accepting failure gracefully.
We don’t understand that failure is a big part of winning. It is a part of the process. Education system in India is the biggest culprit of boosting and pounding this ego into the students and parents head. They don’t realize that education system has become a huge business and it works because of fear of failure and competition amongst each other.
Failing is ok. Failing is important. It teaches you a lot. Accept it gracefully. One can’t win all the time.
People can’t take failure easily coz of the ego. Recent example is our team’s defeat in Cricket World Cup. It’s ok we’ll try again next year; it’s not the end of the world.
If one doesn’t tries something new for the first time how would one know if he or she is good at it or not. And initially it might seem difficult but the question one must ask is are you enjoying doing it? If you are then, no matter what you will master it in no time. Patience and persistence is the virtue. Struggling will come as a part of it. And trust me when struggling come, you know you are in the right way. Because when we struggle, we learn about ourselves and what we need to do to become stronger.
Most of the people who were most successful in life either failed or dropped out of school/college.. you know why? Because they weren’t afraid of the failure, they didn’t feed their ego. They were ok to fail coz after lot of failing they came out as a winner.
In the end, just want to add that we all have seen FRIENDS and laughed, had fun. But there were so much to learn from it as well. Remember Pete (Monica’s rich boyfriend) when he was trying kickboxing Monica tells him to give up after he gets beaten up first two times. He says in return.. “You know why I named my most successful product ‘X857’? Coz for the first 856 times it didn’t work.'” Wow, need I say more.
Just stop listening to your ego. Voices in your head which tells you to sleep a little longer in the morning, or tells you don’t apologize in public to someone coz it’s embarrassing, or tell you to cancel the plan coz it’s raining or coz it’s too hot outside or rather take a nap instead of going.. is YOUR EGO. Kill it. You’ll be happier in life.